why you should take care of yourself

I am the perfect example of someone who doesn’t take care of herself and it never really bothered me until I got married. Because then it’s not just about you. For as far back since high school I can remember days where maybe there wasn’t a food I liked ( I’m a very picky eater ) and I didn’t eat much. Well later that night I would wake up and lose my hearing, my sight, my balance and end up drenched in sweat in a matter of minutes.

I always figured I was sleep walking, to be honest. I would be in bed then find myself dazed and confused somewhere else in the house. But I would almost always remember getting out of bed. I just figured since I knew I wasn’t in bed anymore, my brain was just making up memories. Well last night, poor Josh got the whole show. You know, I’ve given the guy so much grief about leaving the bathroom door open but I’m so glad he did. Both of us thought we heard a noise in the middle of the night and when it turned out to be nothing, he went to the bathroom and I went to get a drink.

As I was opening the fridge I felt my ears start to ring and my eyes go black. Since this has happened every now and then since I was in high school I knew what to do. I poured my juice, sat down on the ground and tried to drink as much sugar as possible since it always helps.

However, since I’ve always been by myself when this happens ( except once when we were housesitting for Kelly & Jason but he slept through it ) I’ve always thought it only lasted a minute or two and was no big deal. My dad or mom would always find me afterwards and get me juice and I would just assume I’d only been there for a few seconds.

Well apparently that’s not the case. I do remember suddenly being somewhere else in the hallway but didn’t know how. Apparently Josh had picked me up and shaken me for five minutes while I was completely unresponsive. My eyes were open but my pupils were not responding to light and while I thought I heard him talking and thought I was answering, I wasn’t saying anything. He said it was like looking at me but I wasn’t even there. I called my dad tonight and he said the same thing, which I’d never known. They both said I look dead when it happens.

Afterwards I feel great. The black spots fade, my hearing comes back, the sweat dries and I feel like a million bucks.

It wasn’t until today that I even considered that it had something to do with how badly I take care of myself. My friend mentioned to me that it sounded like I went into hypoglycemic shock and after reading all about it, I’m definitely getting tested when I get home. However, the best thing to do is just take better care of myself which I am now determined to do.

Like I said, it never bothered me until I was married. I hate how upset Josh was last night. I’ve never seen him so freaked out. I hate that my lack of taking care of myself did that to him and I don’t ever want it to happen again. I’ve gotten so used to it happening now and then that I’ve accepted it as a part of life and that’s wrong. We should always want to be our best, not just for others but for ourselves.

I definitely have the best husband on the planet. I don’t know how I got to be so blessed, but I did and for that I am grateful. I will miss him so much when I leave. I seriously can’t believe I’ll be home Saturday. I felt bad because the kids at the orphanage kept asking me to come to beach day with them Saturday morning and I kept saying, “Miss Amber has to go on a plane. So when you see a plane wave and I’ll be waving back!” But they didn’t like that answer and said I should skip the plane and come play with them. I will miss them as well. And my friends!

This term has been so much better for me. I’ve really come to love it here and appreciate Grenada for what it has to offer. It’s not America and it’s not home-home and I’ve learned to not expect it to be. It’s a different kind of home though and an experience I’ll always treasure.

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